Walk for Boobs

Yesterday started the Breast Cancer 3-Day, 60 mile walk here in Seattle. I walked in 2002, 3 months after my mom had completed her chemo and radiation treatments. It was truly a life altering event in my life, I raised over $3000 and logged almost 700 miles in the 6 months I trained. Yet the experience of walking with almost 2000 other people who also hade loved ones fighting this disease, or who had lost their fight ... I still get goosebumps when I remember it. And I still have foot problems as well, lol!

In 2003 and 2004, the walk was not held in Seattle so I wasn't able to participate. When I heard it was coming back here, my first thought was 'oh, I'd love to do that again'. Then I remembered how difficult the fundraising was and how I'd already done some permanent damage to my feet. Was I really up for it again? During this same time my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, which overwhelmed me - then I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and had to have a complete hysterectomy. So that made up my mind - no walk for me. I didn' t know how easily I'd recover from surgery (which, fortunately, ended up being no big deal) and I wasn't sure how much my Mom and Dad would need me, as I anticipated my Mom probably being really ill in July. Mom passed on June 29th and my heart is still broken.

This morning I went to cheer on my friends from the Kindred Spirits (the group I walked with in 2002, only there were only 10 of us then) and I couldn't do it! I can't believe how sad I felt, and was in tears seeing all those people walking and all their families and loved ones on the side-lines cheering for them. It just made me feel guilty that I wasn't walking, and I remembered how my Mom stood on the sidelines, cheering me on and how she walked the last mile to the finish with me ... it seems like yesterday.

Tomorrow I'll try again ....